Lettre-Mail 1965-0582 (Type-writer)
Thanks Giving day
I spent it at the Copley's and now the belly full of heavy ritual foods I am back at the Chelsea. It is 10 o'clock and the program on TV is really bad, it is the American Indians who, bringing the local foods to the first Puritan immigrants allowed to establish this custom to thank them and God at the same time.
My work is going well especially in the sense of the conviction that I have now not to work for an exhibition any longer or to sell a piece but to do what I want, that is to say to be free and I promise you that I will stay firm on it even if sometimes it costs us money or makes us miss.
I have a kind of gentle masochistic impression into finding myself so far from you a sort of punishment for very real crimes that I think it is possible to have committed, because I think I am very puritan and surely forgive me very hard, it is the only explanation that I see for the moment to this organized self-destruction which is my life and this genius of catastrophes of all kinds that I have endeavored to create. I do not have the default to say it's like that I can not help it but the first step is to know oneself first and after the desire to reform oneself must followed in a mandatory way.
I bother you with all these questions you have enough to do to get into your own problems without digging over mine,
I press you against me I hold you very tight and tell you all my love
My Eliane if you do not like that I write you using the machine say it and I will write to you by hand