APA-ER_mail1960Scan-0373

373

MyElia

    I come back from cinema with Brissot and [Esmet] saw once more "OK Corral" beautiful and solid western. But a slight inconvenience at the exit : a dozen young North Africans have disrespected [Esmet], they have put in an unequivocal fashion their hands to the buttocks. I did not accept it and I decided to deal with the beefiest of them but while I was in full explanation without too much difficulty the others guys jumped on me and went full throttle kicking me with their feet, their fists etc. they tried have me forget how the movie was. Jacques after being punched ran away and I received a full basket of kicks and punches nevertheless thanks to my good musculature and to some good principles I did not catch too many bad shots. The sad side of this is that my brand new suit needs 3 stoppages and I have some bruises - that's the result of a too boiling blood and of the trust in the loyalty of people - never mind next time I'll be faster and take care faster of the first guy to better deal with the others.
    My sweet heart I may be wrong,  I may not be wrong, but I am convinced that by following a course of action in relation to my destiny I must win - I nevertheless have a bad conscience towards my parents because it is obvious that I owe them much more than I could give them back - besides there is you whom I consider, without the children, simply you in oneself which nevertheless made me what I am and gave me the weapons for this fight and even led me to it, I believe that one must never reproach itself for an act or half an act and even a quarter of one. The consequences are the pear and the packaging and you have to pay them seriously, the fable of the sorcerer's apprentice has been developed for that intent, for my part I accept it. I ask you as my wife, my companion, to accompany me to the extent of your strength in this life which is now mine, to accompany me even if the goal is foreign to you and may be unpleasant - it’s me who is you and not my adventure, if I were a soldier I would not ask you to take part in the fight but to come close to me when it is possible - if I was a minor not to go down to into the galleries but to be ready to remove the black soot from my pores. Moreover, and in fairness, I do not believe that it is necessary for you to judge the validity or not of my step because there's no fair war but in all war there are fair men. And believe me that it will be in what I undertake that I will have the biggest desire to be a fair man having the least possible to suffer from any compromise whatsoever. I have no illusion about relationships with the infinite, the absolute, the spiritual and what I do but I think that in any activity the presented interest is an eternal Sisyphus the possibility of being worn down, of being polished, to be broken and to do. Eliane I know my limits (see Restany) and do not deceive me, I have nothing of a semi-god and nothing of a hero, I think I’m a man and to have my weaknesses, take me as a whole with freight and packaging included it will not always be easy. But good heavens you too will have your rock to roll up to the summit even if this summit only represents in the future a lot of pain if these pains and these joys spent are in conscience I want to hope that everyone will find something worth it you, me, the children, the gods, the heroes and the passing time.
    My hand on your shoulder, my look into yours, and the greatest confidence in all the good and the bad stars.
    your arman

PS: (I must be in iron because after the huge bullfighting that I took (like a lynching in Congo) I have almost nothing). (It's like for the Heidelberg accident)